This weekend was the worst I've ever had. I've never been so scared, or so desperately

Sunday night, on the way to my house for an impromptu bonfire, Gill and Pete were involved in a near fatal crash that almost killed both of them. If any of you have ever driven up/down 34 you may have noticed that there's a driveway that swoops  up steeply, only to go down again, in an arch sort of thing. There's an old truck out there, and it seems almost as if it's a road, but it's not. Gill was being an asshole, and took it going 55 for fun. There's a large ditch/bump at the front of the road, and they flew. They took out several guardrails, [the kind that have the wiring and the wood posts] before finding themselves supported only by the wires, the car leaning against it, threatening to fall into 34. They were mere inches from a tree that, if they had kept going, would have gone straight through Pete's side of the car. The car is completely totalled. The steering let go, and the wheel can turn forever without affecting the wheels, the drivers side door won't close, the back door on the same side won't open, the back window is smashed out. Airbags deployed, bumper missing, glass everywhere, and wheel axle not really attached anymore.

Pete called me when they had gotten out of the car, and I immeadiately raced down.

I don't know how to express the way that I felt that night. I really don't. I felt so many horrible emotions at once, as soon as I saw the car. 

Whoever you are, wherever you are, and whoever you're with, realize that life is preciuos. Love those you love, take advantage of life, and lead it to the fullest. It can always be lost.

I'm so affected by this, and it's driving me mad, but the worst thing is, the dread just keeps building. The fear that he'll be lost from me is mounting and mounting and I'm going insane.

I love him so much.